What is Narcissism? An Overview

At The Rogue Scientist, we talk about health and how to live a healthy life, which includes our mental health. Today, I want to talk about a mental health issue that pervades our society and has impacted almost every one of us at some point, without our even realizing it.

I want to talk about narcissism.

Most of us have a vague idea of what narcissism is. When someone calls a politician, celebrity, or their ex “narcissistic,” we can see the potential truth in the label, even if we don’t know much about narcissism itself. We see a person who’s full of themselves, self-absorbed, or loves the spotlight a little too much.

For example, the dude who brags about how much weight he can lift or the woman who’s obsessed with posting selfies on social media.

But narcissism is so much more than that. It includes a pervasive pattern of behavior that can prove damaging… not to the narcissistic person, but to every person in the narcissist’s orbit. Narcissism is a serious mental health issue, but it’s unique because it most impacts others, rather than the person who has it.

Narcissism is a huge, complex topic, worthy of numerous articles. It’s also a topic on which I have plenty of personal experience. This article will provide an overview of what narcissism is, and why, in my opinion, it’s the trickiest of all the mental disorders.

What Exactly is Narcissism?

According to Psychology Today, narcissism is “characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, a need for excessive admiration, and the belief that one is unique and deserving of special treatment.”

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5^th Edition (DSM-5), the bible of mental disorders used by pretty much all professionals, includes a diagnosis for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). To qualify, someone needs to have five of these nine symptoms:

• Have a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents).
• Be preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
• Believe that they are “special” and can only be understood by other special or high-status people.
• Require excessive admiration.
• Have a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment).
• Take advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.
• Lack empathy: or is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
• Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them.
• Show arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.

I’ll point out that someone can display narcissistic traits, but not have NPD. I’ll explain why later in the article.

The thing is, all of us can display these behaviors at times. However, what differentiates us from the narcissist is to what degree we do this and our ability to choose more adaptive behaviors.

Narcissism Can Be Difficult to Detect

With other mental disorders, we know it when we see it, even if we can’t put a name to it. For example:

• We recognize schizophrenia (or a related psychotic disorder) when we see the disheveled guy on the tricycle riding through the street screaming obscenities at a some phantom person, in a world all his own.
• We recognize when someone we know has lost their driving privileges, their job, and their partner because they suffer from severe alcohol addiction but can’t quit.
• We know that someone who gets extremely agitated or drifts into a flashback at the sound of loud fireworks probably suffers from PTSD.

But narcissism? Not so much. Why is that?

6 Reasons We Don’t Recognize Narcissism

1. Most of us can occasionally love attention a little too much or feel envious or disdainful of others, so when we see these traits in others, we don’t often think much of it.
2. Many narcissists have qualities that draw people in. They can be engaging, charming, and because they crave attention and adoration, they can be extremely attractive. In fact, narcissists are more likely to attain leadership positions because of these qualities. So, we don’t often detect narcissism because we’re too busy admiring the person.
3. Those with narcissism often have other mental disorders at the same time. For example, I had a friend once who had bipolar disorder. I assumed his difficult, obnoxious behavior resulted from that, but eventually realized he was narcissistic as well. Mood and anxiety disorders can mask—or be used as an excuse for—narcissistic behavior.
4. Narcissism has many subtypes. The DSM-5 describes the “textbook” narcissist, also known as a “grandiose narcissist.” But narcissism can manifest in other forms, and because these other forms don’t fit the textbook definition, they can be harder to detect.
5. Narcissists behavior differently in public than they do behind closed doors. Ask anyone who’s had a relationship with a narcissist. They see what the rest of us do not.
6. Finally, narcissism varies in its severity. Those with fewer narcissistic traits can fly under the radar until you get to know them well. Severe narcissism and NPD are easy to spot. I talk more about this in the next section.

Narcissism Varies From Mild to Severe

Narcissism isn’t a “you have it or you don’t” thing. It exists on a spectrum that ranges from mild to severe. This actually applies to most mental problems and disorders, but many people, including professionals, have difficulty with thinking in “spectrum” terms. Why?

Professionals often need to apply a label or diagnosis in their work, and they often want the symptoms to be clear and severe enough to warrant that label or diagnosis.

And the rest of us… sometimes we just want a YES or NO. Is this person narcissistic or aren’t they?

The answer could be yes, but it’s a matter of degree.

Severe Narcissism

Severe narcissism is easier to spot. If you look at any list of narcissistic traits, these folks display most or all of them.

They cause significant problems; they’re lousy bosses, abusive parents, and toxic spouses who cause damage wherever they go. You may not realize they’re narcissistic, but you probably recognize something is very wrong.  

Moderate Narcissism

Moderate narcissists display their share of narcissistic traits and behaviors, but not quite as many as the severe narcissist. However, these folks can still cause a lot of trouble and tend to struggle in relationships.

A unique aspect of moderate narcissists is they can toggle back and forth between somewhat healthy, normal behavior and unhealthy, narcissistic behavior. For this reason, moderate narcissists often fly under the radar with most people, including therapists, who don’t recognize what’s going on and how problematic it is.

This is another reason why narcissism is so insidious.

Mild Narcissism

These folks show the fewest number of narcissistic traits and behaviors, and the severity of their behaviors tend toward annoying rather than toxic.

To Learn More…

I plan to publish a series of articles on narcissism, since there’s so much more to say here. For now, if you want to learn more, here are a couple of resources I’ve found to be very helpful.

Jerry Wise

A therapist who specializes in those who grew up in a narcissistic, toxic, or emotionally immature family. He understands narcissism better than most experts I’ve come across. He’s all over, but I watch his videos on YouTube.

Dr. Ramani

A clinical psychologist, Dr. Ramani specializes in narcissism and it’s various subtypes. You can find her on YouTube or check out her successful book It’s Not You.

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It’s Not You by Dr. Ramani

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